Thanks so much to all of you who took the time to enter my Best Friends essay contest. It was an absolute joy to read your stories of friendship, courage, laughter, and hope. I had a terrible time choosing just four finalists! The truth is, all of you are winners. I can see that in your letters. You're the kind of women who connect and share, and most importantly, stick with your best friends through the hard times. I am proud to have you as my readers. Several of the letters were so moving that I have chosen to post more to the site than we originally thought. I hope you all enjoy them as much as I did.
Aloha and thanks,
Kristin
(all winning entries are posted below)
Winner: Kathy Pettibon "This letter really captures the spirit and heart of Firefly Lane. It made me smile and wipe a tear or two. Thanks for sharing this special story, Kathy."
Second Place: Amy Santos "Another letter that touched me deeply. This friendship is the very embodiment of Kate and Tully."
Third Place: Kim Van Meter "Strong women with fragile hearts. Isn't this exactly who we all are?"
Fourth Place: Yvette Reyes "These two friends sound like the kind of women you want to be friends with. This entry reminds me that sometimes life is really good, and we need to cherish and celebrate those moments. And, of course, we all know that I love a good margarita if my friends are around…"
Honorable Mentions:
Katy Fish
Cindi Hoppes
Sue Jacobsen
Lainie Friedman
Brandy Wilson
Elizabeth Schelest
Paula Watkins
Jennifer Schoen
Claire LiMandri
Mary Panchyshyn
Debbie Boyd
Winner: Kathy Pettibon
I have just finished this book and after wiping my tears, throwing the empty Kleenex box away and trying to pull myself together I have decided to write.
I'm compelled to tell you my story although I've never done anything like this before.
I ask this: Have you been following me and my best friend forever, Leslie, around for the last 34 years? You seem to have it all there with only a few career changes and minor location adjustments. When I picked it up and saw that it was in the Northwest in the 70's that sounded fun to read. I had no idea until the words came on the page that the story ends with IBC.
Leslie and I are about 3 years ahead of you, born in 1957/1958, but that doesn't make a bunch of difference. We became friends when we were 9 years old. The first day we met, in Westport on the school bus, she called me names, we fought. She was unhappy, living with a single dad as her mother had died when she was 2 and she just needed to vent anger. By the second day, we were sisters for life. Physically opposite, she's blond and tall, I'm dark and short, but internally we were one.
We rode bikes all around the docks of Westport, walked miles on the beach, laughed until we wet our pants and dreamed of boys and getting out of that "Godforsaken town". We shaved our legs, tried makeup and wore out two Carol King Tapestry albums. One night in 1969 we stayed up all night playing the 45 of "Midnight Confessions" trying to figure out all the words.
We took Driver's Ed together, drove around for hours going nowhere. Holidays, sleepovers. We would watch the Wizard of Oz over the phone together when we couldn't be together to watch. She practically lived with us for several years because her dad was gone commercial fishing a lot. My parents were her parents.
Our high school prom theme was "Good Bye Yellow Brick Road", our Gunnysax dresses and rope platform shoes for graduation were totally cool. We did it all, parties on the beach, sneaking out, smoking, posters of David Cassidy.
In 1976 we moved to Seattle after graduation. We frequented all the nightclubs you talk about, listened to the music and dreamed all our dreams together. The Olympic Hotel was a favorite getaway. We'd shop at the Market for dinner and have drinks on the waterfront. Oh, hair gel, oh stirrup pants and scrunchy boots. The Blue Moon was one of our favorite nightspots. I feel I don't have to tell you what we did because you already
know!
Leslie worked downtown in banking and I was a travel agent, seeing the world. At 40 I had a child, she never did. But nothing ever changed with us and we kept our girlfriend weekends as our special time to go back and live our youth. My IPod has all our favorites, CSNY, Eagles, Rod Stewart, Motown and more. We loved to roll down the windows in the Volvo, open the sunroof and scream/sing at the top of our lungs, rain, shine or snow. *Laugh in the face of adversity*, that's our motto!!!!!!!!!
On October 5, 2004 Leslie was diagnosed with stage four IBC. We had never heard of it. We did all the preventative mammograms, etc. thinking that's all we needed. On July 23, 2005 at 46 years old we lost her. I keep a necklace I bought her that says "fearless" on the mirror in my car because that's what she was through and through.
Although she is with me every single day I miss her like I didn't think possible. Leslie was my sister, my soul. We didn't have to speak words to communicate, we just thought the same thoughts. I had the emotions under control and was to the point of smiling when I think of her until I read your book. I almost could not finish the last chapters. I was taken back to sitting at her bedside as she slipped into a coma and took her last breath.
Thank you for writing our story. I'm sorry you lost your mother to this horrible disease. I'm happy you have chosen to share this with others. I have a soapbox I stand on and people are tired of listening to me but I never stop. Your book is a happier way to share frightening information.
And that is the story of KathyandLeslie.
Second Place: Amy Santos
I met Kim in Kindergarten, we were the same height and had the same long shiny dark hair. We were just five years old. When she came to my birthday party that year, she brought me a Crayola Crayon Cup filled with crayons in all colors of the rainbow, we colored together and it seemed as though she was the only one there with me.
We went through grammar school, junior high school, boys, concerts and high school together and a whole lot in between. She knew my every secret and my every wish. Late nights on the phone and long talks after school, all of this is still fresh in my memory. I couldn't have asked for a better best friend or a better adolescence.
Kim had a baby and got married, so did I. Motherhood and family priorities took the place of our whispers and giggles. The phone calls became few and far between. I longed for our friendship to be back the way it was, but I also respected her new "values". Soon, I was raising a child on my own and was lucky enough to have a wonderful family to help me.
Still, no Kim, I wondered what I had done, why she wasn't there.
When I turned 23 I learned that I had a malignant tumor in my leg that was fourteen inches long. I cried with my family. The name of my cancer (which I've had to go through three times since) is called Ewing Sarcoma. I had chemotherapy and radiation, I lost my waist-length hair. The doctor's spoke of amputation. I was not accepting of that, my son was just five and he deserved a mother that could be there for him and do things with him. I blamed myself and on other days I'd ask, "why me?".
I woke up one morning at the hospital, it was my third month there. I looked to my right to see the clock, and there, on my night table, was a box of crayons. I looked to my right and saw Kim sitting in the over-sized green chair reserved for visitors. She was teary-eyed, but smiling, and she reached over to rub my head. We fell into a hug and we both cried. She had heard the news from my mother when she ran into her at the store. Kim was recently divorced, her husband was controlling and kept her away from us all during their marriage. She now has had two boys of her own. We talked for a long time, we cried, we laughed and we knew that we were never really "alone".
She visited every day and I fought as hard as I could. I made it, and though I've had to go through it two more times, there isn't a day that goes by that we are not in contact with each other. Some way or another we hear that all important "I love you". And I do love her. She's been my best friend now for almost thirty years this September. I'll have to let you know how we celebrate this very special anniversary. Maybe we'll color a
picture. And just maybe....
We'll share it with you.
Third Place: Kim Van Meter
Jaycee Phillips Brown is the sister of my heart. Our connection defies logical thought. The tie that binds us is stronger than blood and more reliable.
With only six months between us in age, we've toddled side by side as babies in discovery of their world; fought like siblings over silly things such as dolls and board games; and cried together over hearts broken by boyfriends and later, husbands who didn't realize they'd held something precious in their hands.
She is the one constant in my life that never changes. When my heart aches, she instinctively knows to pick up the phone. When she's down, I make her laugh with a sense of humor sometimes only she can appreciate. We can spend hours on the phone talking of nothing substantial or delve into deeper stuff that we'd never reveal to anyone else.
Bette Midler's song, Wind Beneath My Wings, describes our relationship far more eloquently than I ever could. Each time I hear that song, I think of her and how she's such an integral part of who I am. We understand each other on a soul level; there are so many facets to the depths of our relationship that it's hard to put to words what it's like to have her in my life. She's smart, self-effacing, funny and I see the best of myself through the mirror of her brown eyes. Twice in my life I've been emotionally broken. Both times she was there to hold me while I sobbed — ever that solid constant — and when I was out of tears, she offered the gift of compassionate silence, free of judgment but full of love.
A life without Jaycee is no life at all. She keeps me balanced, grounded, tethered to all that's important yet intangible.
We are the locked box of each other's secrets; the keepers of our precious memories. We remember each other as we were but treasure one another as we are —strong women with fragile hearts.
Fourth Place: Yvette Reyes
From foodie calls to shopping malls I can depend on my best friend Elizabeth to be there for me. Yes, those foodie calls where I tell her how I want to start a diet and we discuss it over ice cream. And of course those shopping malls, where we text each other pics from the dressing room and patiently wait for a response from our best critic, each other. While most of the times in our lives have been great, we definitely have had our friendship tested by helping each other deal with the ups and downs of romantic relationships, professional pursuits and financial hardships. But, because we have each other, we've come back fighting for true love, because we deserve it. Fighting for success, because we earned it. And most of all trying to maintain a friendship that is filled with love, laughter and happiness…and an occasional margarita on the rocks with no salt.
Honorable Mentions:
Katy Pearson
It was incredibly hard to put my story in 500 words or less. I want you to know that I purchased Firefly Lane because of the 30-year friendship of TullyandKate. When I read the cover, I thought of Lindsey and myself, and I couldn't wait to start reading the book. I haven't even read 100 pages, but I did visit your website to see what other fabulous books I can pick up that have been written so wonderfully. I saw the Best Friends contest and just had to share my story. Lindsey truly is my best friend, and I don't know what I would ever do if I didn't have someone in my life like her. No matter what, we have survived, and will continue to press on through whatever life brings us. Thank you for a wonderful novel about two friends and their abilities to remain true to one another.
Cindi Hoppes
In my family there were three children. My brother, Donny, who was 14 years older than me and my sister, Carol, who is 10 years older. The day my mom was going to the hospital, my dad told them that he had to get mom to the hospital to have the baby! Carol was completely surprised! She didn't even know she was getting a younger sibling. I always told my parents that I was the best mistake that they ever made! Our house wasn't very big so when I was old enough, Carol and I shared a very small room with a double bed! She was married by age 20 and then had her first daughter after that. I could not sleep at night without her! My parents tried leaving a small light on, staying with me until I fell asleep, etc......With time, Carol had two precious daughters to whom I was like a nanny. Carol and her husband could go out anytime and I would be there. When their family took vacations, I went with them! Since, my parents were older when they had me, Carol was several things to me~ Mother/Sister/Friend. Carol was a first grad teacher for many years and loved the summer vacation time. Mom had osteoarthritis and other medical problems. My sister and I would clean their house inside and out. Then, we made sure to take mom to a special place every summer. My brother, Donny was a veterinarian and worked out of a building added to Mom and Dad's house. Every Sunday, his office needed cleaning, we would exchange Sundays with each other. In the year, 2000, our brother had a stroke ( he was a juvenile diabetic ) and passed away nine weeks later. Four months, later, our mom passed, also. Carol and I leaned on each other to get through that year. It was months of nothing but hospitals and mental weariness. Besides the loss of our two loved ones, we had our 81 year old dad to think about!
Needless to say, the millenium was the worst year of my life thus far. Dad made it through his grief and sorrow, but then the medical problems came. Fortunately, we have gotten through all of those with the help of our wonderful families and friends. Dad is now 89 and doing pretty well. Without my sister, Carol, life would never have been as fun, meaningful and fulfilling. Thanks for allowing me to share my story with you.
Sue Jacobsen
My story, is of three best friends, myself, Anita and Christa. Anita and I have been friends since the first grade. Christa joined our friendship in junior high. Oh we had our ups and downs just how all girlfriends do, but through thick and thin we always were there for each other. Our real friendship blossomed after high school, and college. We were all starting our lives, and families. So we decided it was important for us three to get together for dinner once a month. Well we all know how hard that is but we tried. But no matter what we always were connected. It was two years ago, that we had dinner as three for the last time. We had a great dinner, and told each other, that the next time we got together, we were going to get "dressed up" and go out. Well little did we know that it would be for Anita's funeral one month later.
She died suddenly, we still to this day do not know the cause. It has been a long and hard road, but Christa and I are stonger for challeng life has thrown at us. We still go out to dinner, now just the two of us, but we know that Anita is there with us. We will cherish forever and always those girlfriend conversations. There is nothing in the world that can compare to the bond that girlfriends have! We miss and love you Anita!
Lainie Friedman
Tracy and I became best friends in second grade. We would have play dates where we would play with Barbie dolls down her basement. In fourth grade, we had our first male teacher – Mr. Pellechia – who we both developed a huge crush on. We once pretended we blew into his home when we walked home on a windy day. In fifth and sixth grade, we threw Halloween parties together. (We were both such drama queens that our parties often ended with someone in tears!) The summer going into 8th grade, Tracy's dad's company was relocating to Dallas, Texas. We cried our eyes out the night we had to say good-bye to one another. I was actually her family's first NJ guest to visit their new home! Tracy is the only person I would be brave enough to travel alone for when I was in 8th grade! We continued to stay in touch during high school and in college we wrote letters to one another and then emailed nonstop. Tracy was finally back on the East Coast, attending University of Pennsylvania (Wharton) while I was in DC at American University. After graduation, we both got our first jobs in New York City where we were able to be "grown-up friends' things like going out to eat, for mani/pedis, etc. Tracy is that friend that I can tell anything to. We'd take long walks on the Jersey shore where we'd talk about boys, feelings, life situations, etc. Next Tracy went to UMi for her MBA and has now settled in San Francisco (as you can see, she hops around a lot) A few years ago, Tracy was diagnosed with skin cancer on the bottom of her foot. It was then that it hit me how much she means to me and that she's like a sister to me. I called constantly to check up on her. Fortunately, she's a survivor who was lucky enough to self-detect it early enough. A few years ago, Good Morning America sent the two of us on an all-expense paid "Girls Week Out" cruise on Norwegian Cruise Line where we were interviewed about our then 25 year friendship by Oprah's bf Gayle King and a psychologist! It was our first time going on vacation together and we made so many once in a lifetime memories, like holding hands and relying on one another to climb Dunn's River Falls in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. We might not see each other that often, but Tracy and I know we can count on one another for advice, support, a therapy session, encouragement and/or a good laugh! Sometimes we've drifted apart and we'd only reach out for the annual bday call, but when we pick up the phone, there's no awkwardness or pauses –it's as if we had just talked yesterday!
Brandy Wilson
My best friend is my dad! I live at home with my family. You see, I may be 19 but I am also Autistic. That makes the world a tough place. My dad and I talk about politics, religion or just a new TV show. He isn't perfect and neither am I, so we get into fights. However, he will come apologize. He encourages my dreams and listens to my sorrows. How much more could you ask for in a friend?
Elizabeth Schelest
My sister is my best friend and this is why:
We had a pretty rough life growing up. We were poor, had an abusive father, and our family always moved from state to state. The highlight of our days were spent dreaming of the time our mother would divorce our father.
We grew up and found our own way, eventually marrying wonderful guys and having great families. We stayed close through the years, having hour long "therapy" phone sessions with each other and vowing never to raise our children the way we were raised. She was my coach, my sounding board, my therapist, my cheerleader, as I was hers. She understands me, can sympathize with me, can share my tears, as she was there too.
Three years ago, we decided to start taking "Girls Only" vacations together. It gives us a chance to heal, talk, bond, and be thankful for what we have. I cherish that time we spend together - just us two.
I truly love my sister. She is my best friend.
Paula Watkins
Who is my best friend and Why!!
My BFF is Paulette. We are Paula&Paulette. P&P Productions (We use to put on plays). Two P's in a pod. I met Paulette at my church in 1990. We were friends but I never really thought I was in her league. She was older than I was but she didn't seem approachable to me. In 1992, after a series of events, Paulette and I talked and for the first time things just clicked into place.
Paulette was married at the time and I was single. I remember her telling me that her mother once told her that there was nothing a married women and a single women had in common. Even with that thought in the back of my head, we still became inseparable. We went to conventions together, had each others back in all family situations and thus were known as Paula&Paulette. People would call me Paulette and I would answer. People called her Paula and she would answer.
Then in the year 1999, a single friend came into my life. I didn't forsake Paulette (one P just left the pod), we still talked on the phone but I took my vacations now with my new friend. My new friend and I went places together, did things together. In the back of my mind I would justify this by saying Paulette had her husband to do these things with.
In 2002, my mother passed away. Paulette was right there. She became my right arm. Two P's were now back in the pod. Her wisdom brought much comfort to my soul. A few years after that my new friend met a guy and got married and dropped me like a hot potato. Paulette was right there to catch me before I fell.
In July 2005 I lost my grandmother and in March 2006 Paulette lost her father. She was there for me once again and I stood by her the whole way during the preparation for her fathers funeral. Although she had her husband to comfort her, I tried not to leave her side.
In July 2007 Paulette's husband had a heart attach. From the moment she called me on that Tuesday evening, until the time he died on Thursday, I did not leave her side. I stayed with her afterwards as long as she needed me to.
Then in August of 2007, my sister died unexpectantly. Again with grieve still so new to her, Paulette was there for me as much as she could be.
Now not a day goes by that I don't talk to her. We have been through so much together. We laugh together, we cry together, we just plain have fun. As a matter of fact, we have already paid for our upcoming trip to Italy in November 2008.
So Paula&Paulette is who we are
Our friendship has taken us far
Friends forever, is our decree
Until the day we cease to be
Jennifer Schoen
I met my best friend, Karen, in 1998 when I started a new high-powered job as an accounting manager for a large credit union. It was the most unlikely pairing as Karen was a teller and I was a member of management, she is almost 10 years older then myself, unmarried and childless. We are complete opposites in virtually every way. Her huge heart and strong work ethic eventually led to me having her transferred to work in my department. She was invaluable to me as an employee and, as the years would prove, as a friend.
I left the credit union in 2004, but the relationship that Karen and I forged in the early days of my career has endured the journey of life. It has endured family illness and deaths, the heartbreak of true love, the birth of all three of my children, the near death of one of my children, many career changes, and too many happy times to list. Despite the hour long distance between our homes and careers and the demands of family we still make it a rule to get together for "girls-only" evenings at least once a month. Sometimes we go out to dinner and a movie, other times we go shopping, and yet other nights we just sit at my house and chat to catch up on life. But regardless of what we do it always involves making memories and continuing to forge that bond of never-ending friendship.
Friends like Karen are what makes the journey of life worth the price of admission. They help you realize that life may not be the never-ending party that has the fairy tale ending that we hoped for, but that while we are here we must enjoy life to the fullest. I have learned to be a better mother and wife by doing things for me and reconnecting with my friends. I have realized that life should not be measured by the number of breaths that we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away, and that the best of friends are always standing right beside you, even when they are separated by distance or circumstance. True friendship is a rare and precious gift and in Karen I have found a gem!
Claire LiMandri
There are many elements to a friendship. You care about each other, you like the same things, you make each other laugh, you go through some of life's treasures and great pains together and in all of this you still want to tell her first when something is happening. This is my sister and me. My sister Annie is a nurse and I was a flight attendant. She is my sister and is my best friend. We grew up in a home with 5 children. We lived through the death of our younger sister of alcoholism at the young age of 42. We were together in the Intensive Care Unit when our father died. We cared for our mother as she went through dementia and recently died. We have watched each other go through serious illnesses and get well. We supported each other through our first marriages, then divorces and now both of us in our second marriages. She has seen me through the birth of both of my children and their growth to womanhood. Our family has always been close, however it is my sister and me that are best friends. We recently quit smoking together. Not an easy feat, however we are both almost a year smoke free. I never could have done it without her support nor her without mine. She is the first person I call when anything wonderful or hilariously funny happens. She is also the first person I call when something is very sad. We counsel each other with love and that is not always an easy thing to do.
I love my sister and she me warts and all. We are a mighty duo. Right now we are surrogate mothers to our little sister's daughter who is pregnant with twins. We email and/or call her every week because she misses her mom so much at this wonderful time of her life. What joy this is. I love my sister and she me warts and all. We are a mighty duo. Right now we are surrogate mothers to our little sister's daughter who is pregnant with twins. We email and/or call her every week because she misses her mom so much at this wonderful time of her life. What joy this is.
PS. Thank you for this opportunity....I have never actually put this to print. It felt really good.
Mary Panchyshyn
It was about two weeks before Christmas. I had just pulled up in front of the garage door at home. My son Nicholas and I noticed a package by the door at the same time. I began a quick mental inventory to see if this package could be a Christmas gift for Nicholas that I had ordered on-line and would need to quickly intercept. Luckily, nothing came to mind - it was too small a package.
Surprisingly, the package was addressed to me. Once we got inside the house, Nicholas insisted that I open it immediately. I did. I couldn't imagine what it was.
It was a book. My best friend Margie had sent me a book about Elvis Presley. Nicholas lost interest and wandered out of the kitchen.
Inside the book there was a note from Margie. In it, she wrote had she been shopping and saw the book. Knowing that I have always been crazy about Elvis, she decided to buy it for me. In closing, she wrote, "Your friend for life, love, Margie."
I sat at the kitchen table leafing through the book. More important than the actual present was the fact that Margie had though enough about me to send it. Additionally, this present had come at a time when I was feeling stressed and frazzled. Amazing how good a friend's thoughtfulness makes you feel, like being enveloped in a huge bear hug.
Margie and I have been friends since high school. She is very outgoing and effervescent. She has this aura that attracts people to her. I am reserved and methodical. Even so, we became close – sort of opposite sides of the coin.
We both got married after high school. We were always at each other's house. Our kids played together from the time they were little. We even went on vacations together – wonderful times, great memories.
My family and I moved to a different state. At first, our two families still got together fairly regularly. But, as the kids got older and there were more and more kid-related 'activities', the times we were able to get together dwindled.
Some years later, Margie's husband became ill and passed away. And then, not too long after that, my younger sister died. These were devastating, life-changing events. We managed to be there for each other, sometimes only to say "I know how you're feeling."
Then, to my dismay, my marriage started disintegrating. I was angry and hurt and withdrew into myself. I'm sure my attitude puzzled Margie. Even though I pulled away, she still considered me her friend.
That means a great deal to me. My marriage unfortunately didn't make it, but my friendship did.
A true friend is someone who can see into your heart and still say, "You are important to me – I am here for you." Having Margie in my life is a very precious gift.
Debbie Boyd
I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful my best friend, Ginny,is. We've been friends for about 16 years (we met when our sons became friends in junior high). I have Multiple Sclerosis and she is so helpful to me. I have to be very careful not to mention that I "need" ANYTHING, cause if I do.....she shows up with it or gets whatever done that needs be. Since I met her, I've had to quit my job and go on disability, had jawbone cancer twice, got divorced...etc. and she's been there every step of the way. When I had to have radiation 3 times per week 60 miles away....she immediately got all her friends and family members together and made sure I had a ride everyday and meals cooked. Once, when I was in the hospital for several days, I came home to a totally remodeled bedroom with new furniture, paint, etc, due to her! It's not just me that she does things for....anyone who knows her (and many who don't) have benefited from her kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness on many occasions. I could go on and on about all she
does, but I have to keep it under 500 words. Thanks!
